For someone trying to be compassionate and positive as an ongoing way of life, I’m pretty lousy at forgiveness. I could write this off to a mad-powerful Scorpio nature, but today I decided to pull a card pinpointing the nature of my particular forgiveness-related blockage…
Answer: THE AEON
This suggests three things to me all at once:
1) Anger. This card is associated with the Element of Fire…and one of the chief possible components of Fire is anger. I tend to react with anger when I don’t get what I want. Maybe I learned this from early childhood, or maybe it even predates my birth. The important point is that anger is very often unhelpful…and much of the time, it’s downright toxic. Calling it forth at the slightest stimulus is usually pretty self-defeating for me, and this is a response I’ll do well to unlearn.
2) Mythic Scale. The Aeon card says that an old era is giving way to a new one. This is pretty grand stuff, scope-wise. And it appeals to me: I love mythology…and it now occurs to me that I view life as the unfolding of a grand myth, with everything in it serving as Archetypes and Gospels and Fables. This just might involve me elevating every perceived offense and every careless word and gesture as grave infractions committed by Demigods, instead of letting them just be the very minor, inconsequential errors or lapses that they truly are most of the time. That is, I may turn molehills not just into mountains in my psyche, but into entire mountain ranges.
3) Buried Complexes. This card is also about heavy psychological material, often long-hidden and buried deep. Some of what fuels my disconnect with forgiveness may be planted in strata so subterranean that it will take me more than the analysis of this one Tarot card to see it, understand it, and heal it. Sometimes a thing is just what it appears to be, sure, but sometimes it’s just the tip of an iceberg, while at other times, it stands for something else entirely. In other words…grappling with this issue might require some extended devotion of my own bandwidth and energy. But the results may be a terrific return on that investment!
Meanwhile, I hope you’re all enjoying this shiny new year so far! May it bring us all much to be thankful for, and a minimum of experiences that truly call for anything to be forgiven…